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27 and looking for love – Is he behind that screen?

pink line long

Ok, don’t laugh, with my 28th Birthday steadily approaching (April 4th, all gifts welcome lol), as well as my parents being on my back about not being married yet, I also am starting to feel that slight bit of anxiousness. I have been thinking about new ways of meeting people and last night, I was thinking about online dating sites and if ‘in 2013 is it socially acceptable in the black community to seek your life partner online’ *blushing*. Now, the only reason I ask is I always got the impression from my peers that internet dating was a bit of a no no, in-fact a taboo or just uncomfortable to discuss. With the domination of our lives by social media, it’s only natural that we would start to meet people and gain opportunities that perhaps would not have been there prior to sites such as Match.com and Plentyoffish.com

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I joined up to Plentyoffish.com early last year, on the advice of a friend who said that “it’s entertaining”. I had no real intentions of meeting any of these guys in the flesh, but I thought what’s the harm in signing up as I had always been interested in how such interaction would pan out. I am by no mean against meeting people online, because as a teen I did just this *covers face*, “Black Chat” anyone? Who else told porkies about their ALS (Age, Sex, Location). I obviously have more sense now and I am fully aware of the possible dangers of meeting randoms you connect with online. Anyhow, I plucked up the courage and created a username and profile, I found something cheesy to say about my self to entice the guys, without sounding like a call girl. I wrote a Headline, uploaded some pictures and I was well on my way to pulling lol. I kid you not, as soon as I refreshed my page the messages started to roll in. 

Find Love

I was extremely curious to see the black women that were on this site, so instead of searching for men, I searched for black women between the ages of 25 – 35, that were heterosexual, didn’t smoke, lived in London or surrounding areas etc etc . Needless to say I was very surprised at the results. These women were actually attractive! I don’t know why, but I just assumed that no black woman that was actually physically attractive, confident and wasn’t a bum,  would actually want to joint a site such as this.  While flicking through the profiles of all 150 women, yes only 150 black women that fit that criteria, the beauty blogger in me was almost tempted to Private Message some of these women to ask about the hair and make-up that they were rocking lol. I quickly realised, that probably would be inappropriate as this was a dating site and may be mistaken for a pass. It all made sense now, as to why I was getting bombarded messages daily from men, of all ethnicities. I was FRESH! This was obviously all for research purposes *cough* cough* so I searched more. This time I kept everything the same except ethnicity, which I changes to caucasian. That throw up a result on 800+ women a hell of a, lot more than that of black women.

Does this verify my suspicions about online dating not really being an option for the majority of black women? Or is there another internet site that black people are flocking to, to find love? I get the impression that non-blacks are a lot more open to exploring such ways of meeting people and are all game for seeking new ways to meet their significant other. 

27 and still looking for love…

pink line long

What are your thoughts on online dating sites?

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  • Afrolibs

    Great post Wumni!
    I think people should not be too heavily influenced by their peers in matters of our own lives.
    I think in this day and age we really need to be more open minded and less afraid of others judgement. More often than not it’s other peoples fears that we have to deal with.
    I have tried online dating and it’s a great way to meet new people and also in some cases begin the tentative steps of a possible encounter/romance/relationship. In todays busy times we need all the help we can get. I say go for it, I met some really funny and sweet guys even if it did not lead to love for me, but it opened me up to looking for it and helped me define what I wanted in a partner, a few odd dates an do that, lol. After the experience I was able to see the immediate qualities of my current partner, without picking his personality apart as I would have done before hand to some extent.
    Stay safe though, and always let someone in on who you are meeting and where:)

  • ju

    still think its a bit of a no-no among black women,
    fact is we re not as adventurous as whites

  • TMB

    i have tried online dating. Match.com Eharmony and Blackpeoplemeet.com. it can be either hit or miss..sometimes you meet the same kinda of a-holes you would meet out in the non-online world. I have quite a few black friends who have met their current boyfriend, girlfriend and even fiance on there. so just as with the non-online line life you just have to take your time get to know the people you are meeting. With online dating you have more options and you have to take your time to figure out the keepers. If you watch catfish it will probably scare you to not date online lol

  • Lo

    Considering that Black people are about 5% of the population it’s not really that surprising that there were 150 compared to 800. So really that means that that proportionally there are MORE Black women online dating on that site. My friend is getting married in June to someone she met online. My feeling is why not if nothing else is working. Nothing ventured nothing gained!

    • Wunmi

      That is so true… I never thought of it like that…